Recently a male reader asked the following question
‘What is the woman’s role in starting and building a relationship?’
Good question. Some men may feel they have to do all the work. I told him I’d answer his question via a blog post so here it is.
Depending on how we define ‘work.’ Men doing ‘the work’ can be perceived as true. Firstly a man has to identify his type and then he has to chase and pursue. Once he has his girl he has to provide and profess.
What men don’t see is how much ‘work’ girls have had to do before the chase can even begin. Personally I feel being a CUAO (creature unlike any other) is work. Wearing heels is also work. They look great but I’d much rather wear flats any day. Exercising to be in the best shape possible is work. Looking after our hair, nails, skin, waxing etc is work. All this pampering may sound fun but boys waxing and threading hurts. Heels make our feet sore. Underwire lingerie can get uncomfortable. Try it and you’ll see what I mean.
In Rules terms a women’s role in starting, building and sustaining a relationship also includes the following. The list is not exhaustive.
- Firstly we have to either accept or decline his advances. If we’re interested we’ll accept. If we’re not then we’ll politely decline.
- We’ll take your phone calls although we will end the calls first
- We won’t spoil the chase for you. We know that anything worth having is worth the effort. We know how important the chase is to a man (even if you tell us differently)
- If you choose to pay for us we’ll gracefully receive. If you ask us to pay our way we’ll happily pay but deep down we know ‘you’re just not that into us.’ We know that when a man wants to date us and I mean really date us, paying is the very last thing on his mind.
- We won’t play games or waste your time; we won’t keep on dating you if we know that you’re not right for us.
- You’ll never ever have to explain why you don’t want to date us. We’ll know that if you’re not calling and trying to take us out then again you’re just not that into us.
- We’ll let you lead and we’ll follow your lead providing it’s in line with our morals and ethics
- We’ll thank you for each date and we’ll show gratitude each time you do something for us
- We know how important the ‘visual’ is for men. And we’ll try our best to look and smell our very best for you.
- We’ll never flirt with your friends or try and make you jealous
- If you’re late for a date, we won’t make this into a big deal although we will silently take notes.
- We’ll try our best not to nag, criticise or to put you down.
- We will never act insecure or needy and we’ll never ask why you haven’t called or texted.
- We won’t tell you want to do
- We’ll accept you for who you are and we won’t try and change you.
- We won’t be drama prone or argumentative for no reason, we’ll try our best to manage our moods.
- We’ll take care of ourselves
- We'll give you as much space and ‘cave time’ as you could possibly need.
No mean feat if you ask me.
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