Kate Middleton - The Rules for Marriage.

Kate Middleton or The Duchess of Cambridge should now do ‘The Rules for Marriage’ to make that sometimes tricky journey known as marriage as smooth as possible.  Below is a link where the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider provide an excerpt of ‘The Rules of Marriage’. 

Yes that's right 'The Rules' never end.

Excerpt - The Rules for Marriage by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider

Is Kate Middleton a Rules girl?

Kate Middleton - A Rules Girl

This week wouldn’t be complete without mentioning the forthcoming nuptials of Kate and Will.

So is Kate Middleton a Rules girl?

The authors of The Rules - Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider have provided the following content outlining  10 reasons why Kate Middleton is a true Rules girl:

The British tabloids dubbed her "Waity Katie," but Kate Middleton will be having the last laugh on Friday, April 29, when she walks down the aisle with Prince William.  Catching a Prince is much harder than catching a regular Mr. Right, so we think Kate is great and should be commended.

Herewith, 10 Reasons Why Kate is a Rules Girl!   

1. She is CUAO, always stylish and smiling, fit and fashionable. 

2. She is discrete and mysterious. Her nickname is "Her Shyness."

3.  While other girls stared and swooned at William in college, Kate treated him like any other student. 

4. When William spotted Kate when she was modelling for a charity show, she walked away instead of fawning all over him like a groupie.

5. The first time William tried to kiss Kate, she brushed it off and said "We're just friends" as she had a boyfriend at the time.

6. Kate is career-oriented and independent, not clingy or needy. 

7. Kate doesn't talk to the press about William and doesn't try to upstage him.

8. When they broke up, she refused to take his calls and dated other men.

9. She has a full life, between her work, sports, friends, and family.  

10. She closed the deal under extremely extenuating circumstances.  They were very young (college students) when they met in 2001 and friends first. They didn't start dating until 2004.  The proposal could not have happened sooner because William was in the Air Force and he also had to groom Kate for the job. He did not want to repeat what happened to his mother who married very young and was not prepared for royal life. He was adamant about not getting married before 28 or 30 and also wanted to give his mother's ring to the woman he was going to spend the rest of his life with, and not divorce. It's not easy getting the future king of England to propose, but Kate did it!  Every girl should copy Kate! 

Time Wasters.

Yes they exist.

Luckily according to ‘The Rules’ any potential suitor gets no more than a few emails (7 email exchanges in total) to either ask for your number or suggest meeting up.

‘Pharmacist guy’ emailed over two months ago, we swapped numbers, he called and we had a pleasant telephone conversation. He hasn’t called since or suggested that we meet. Instead he is resorting to periodically sending random texts. Since our telephone conversation he has send the following three texts.

Text one

Hey, how many clocks did you have to put today, they forgot to put that on the census form.

Text Two

Don’t trip over your shoe laces when you’re out jogging.

Text three

Hello Mrs Beagle, only you would know what that means. How’s your running going. Did you do the London Marathon?

None of his texts have warranted a response since they are not date related. Rather he has been firmly placed in the ‘time waster’ box.

Trusting The Rules.

Cute guy who started calling after his texts were ignored,  emailed last week.

The temptation to respond to his emails was huge.  I ignored his emails mainly because they were generic ‘what great weather’ type notes.

Since our 'date zero' and his last call were both over two weeks ago,  I placed him in the ‘goner’ category.

He called last night.  Confirmed our date one plans. Asked if we could meet earlier so ‘we could spend more time together’, and suggested that we have a picnic.

Trusting The Rules in this case is paying off.

Keep Going.

Keep Going.

Last week my Guardian Soulmates subscription expired.  After being a member on mysinglefriend.com for nearly eight months with nothing to show,  it’s time to explore other alternatives.

This morning my flatmate and I both bemoaned the whole dating scene.   We discussed our ongoing efforts and agonised over our collective lack of results.  We acknowledged that 'yes it’s dismal' but concluded that 'it really is over to us to keep going'.

We agreed to research alternative dating sites, speed dating, singles events and feedback results.

On Twitter I’ve just come across the following quote:

‘You've only failed when you stop trying. Every new attempt brings you closer to success’.

Let’s hope so.

The Profile Surgery - Demanding

It sounds like a tough call to fit this guys criteria’s.

Let’s see, as his interest (more out of curiosity) has been accepted.

Many criteria's

Hello there.

A little about me. In a nutshell. I'm simple, smart, sensitive, sensual, passionate, philosophical, loving, giving, sometimes naughty and occasionally silly. Can be materialistic in my thinking but at the same time have a strong inclination towards spiritualism.

Now what I am looking for:

In a nutshell, I am looking for compatibility. Compatibility of intellectual and aesthetic realms that can build a foundation for an emotional relationship. I am also looking for a partner who is beautiful, well educated, well bred, intellectually stimulating, with an enquiring nature and scientific mind-set

If it sounds like you... what are you waiting for? Shoot me an email

.

Dating highs and lows - Part II

Dating can be hard work. At times it is so energy and resource intensive.  On many occasion's it feels like a complete waste of time.

Last week I received twenty three texts messages, four phone calls and had two 'date zeros'.   Other than depleted energy levels. It feels that there is nothing to show for all these dating efforts.

The week started off with two texts received before 8am on Monday morning.  One guy wanting to inform that he was an insulin dependent diabetic.  And as such would understand if we cancelled our scheduled date.  I honoured the 'date zero' only to listen to him rant about work, his ex partner and his life in general.  I tuned him out, sipped wine, ended the date well within two hours and went home.

Another guy after various email exchanges called on Tuesday.  He started the call by asking lots of interview type questions.  Questions which ranged from:

What rough edges do you have? Past relationship status?  How long I’ve been single for? What my ideal guy would look like?  What I was looking for? etc.

It took heaps of control and energy to deflect his many questions with non answers.

Saturday’s 'date zero' texted to say that he was running late because he’d been cleaning his house. When he did arrive, he looked nothing like his profile picture.  A practise which should be outlawed.

The only comfort are 'The Rules' for dating. I re-read them last week and in each of the above occasions the advice within ‘The Rulesbook’ rang in my ear. Without which it's very tempting to just scream and shout very loudly.

I'm Already Married - Part II

 ‘Already Married’ guy who attended a speed dating event and who confessed by text to being married sent another text on Monday asking:

‘How about you, are you married’?

His text was ignored.  Yesterday he texted again saying:

‘Hi, I’ve got a friend Raj and the two of you would be perfect.  Let me know if you’d like me to set up a date.  He is very interested in meeting you’.

I’m not quite sure where ‘Already Married’ guy is going with this one.  The best option is to delete, delete and delete.  He’ll get the message soon enough.

I’m Already Married.

A speed-dating event last year  resulted in a date.

The date was all arranged via email which was fine.  After waiting  24 hours maximum before responding. He took the lead, picked the venue and we agreed the time and the date.

He picked a restaurant in a nice part of London and was polite, generous and friendly throughout.  During dinner he told me that the reason he picked a restaurant in Mayfair was because he had a gambling problem.  He carried on explaining that he would often frequent Mayfair whilst gambling late at night.   As such he got to know the local bars and restaurants quite well.

I must confess that this little insight put me off somewhat.  Since the date he texted a couple of times last year and texted again early this year asking if 'we could go out for dinner'.  I texted back thanking him and politely declining his invitation.  He responded by asking  'to get in touch should I change my mind'.

A month ago he emailed to find out how my dating was going.  He also asked whether he could assist with any  financial  advice since he was an Accountant.  I declined his invitation to help with my accounts and gave a generic ‘all well this end’ response to his dating question.

He called last Thursday.  I missed his call,  although it was easy to make out from his voicemail that he was in a crowded bar.  This morning he send a text saying:

‘Would be great to stay in touch, maybe have a few drinks purely as friends only because I’m already married’

I was a little baffled by his text and asked him if he was indeed married.  He responded by saying:

‘Yes I sure am and have been for a long time’.

Whilst it’s disappointing and unfair for singletons who are investing time and energy to find ‘The One’. The reality is that this is happening.  There was an incident a few years ago when I found the profile of my boss on an online site.  He was advertising himself as single even though he was married with three young children.

Today's episode could be used to abandon online dating and dating events.  Instead  this incident is best served as a  timely reminder that people aren’t always who they say they are.  It takes time to get to know someone and as such it’s very important that we take our time and don’t rush the dating process. 

Shaadi.com results - Day 53.



Shaadi.com profile stats.  Day 53.



I joined Shaadi.com on the 9^th February, approx 53 days ago. 

In the first 53 days 2,291 people viewed my profile. 

Out of the 2,291 profile views, 500 have 'expressed an interest'.  Of which  50 got through the first stage. The remaining 450 have either been declined/cancelled or they are yet  to supply their photo ID’s

From the 50 accepted members.  I’ve 'worked' through a total of  55 emails, 25 phone calls, 113 texts,  several missed calls and voice mails, 2 cancelled dates, 2 dates that are being rescheduled, 5 actual live date zeros (first time you meet someone from an online dating site is called a date zero) and 2 first dates

Today  I received a further 3 texts.  One guy asking for a coffee date  and if so could we meet halfway, the answer's no.  Another texted checking availability for a drink this evening, there's no need to respond.   The final guy texted to simply wish me a good week ahead, again I'm not texting back.

Some have also slipped through the net, since emails/texts have been missed and photo IDs have been lost within my inbox.

Since I’m applying ‘The Rules’ there is also  a 24 hours max time lag before responding to any emails.  No calls are being returned unless it’s to reschedule a date which has been done twice.  The only option is to wait patiently for them to get back in touch, which many of them do. 

There are three clear favourites out of the 50 accepted members.   Two out of the three favourites are yet to arrange date zeros.  And there is a date one scheduled with another.

The whole process is time intensive, sometimes annoying and can feel like work.  It's often difficult to engage in a telephone conversation with a complete stranger, let alone get dressed and ready for a date after a day in the office. However giving up is not an option. Luckily we all only need one and in the process there are lots of opportunities to practise 'The Rules'.