28 November 2014

Happy deadzone

Happy Friday and hope you're all enjoying the sales.

For anyone celebrating Thanksgiving the dead zone has already started and ends after the holidays. Everyone else the dead zone ends Sunday 6pm.

It's simple no date means you disappear!

To find out more please visit indiakang.com

26 November 2014

Make Him Feel Like He's The Most Important Person in Your Life

Cuba 2014 doing The Rules for Marriage and making my husband first priority!  

The above title is Rule #25 in The Rules for Marriage and this is what I've been doing.

My husband and I went away for a couple of weeks as part of our first wedding anniversary. We went to Cuba and we landed back in the UK this morning.  The holiday was decreed a "no work zone" which included no social media and no answering emails.

I was initially very nervous about this because I'm waiting to hear back on a couple of opportunities.  I only checked my messages and social media once during the whole trip - which took some negotiation dear readers!

Like Rule #25 states -  making our husbands first priority is good for you, for him and for your marriage. And as a married Rules coach I'm so proud to report that I followed my husbands lead; even though the thought of being offline for two weeks did  make me break out in cold sweats! (sorry lots of cold sweats and violet shakes and no I'm not exaggerating.)  Checking messages once doesn't count. I checked with my husband first. One evening we purchased some wifi access and shared the minutes. How's that for love and romance!

While I was away my blog (this blog) got entered into the UK dating blog awards 2014. I need to pull my finger out if I'm going to meet the voting deadline otherwise there's always next year. I also returned to 623 emails, I took a screen shot in case you don't believe me.

Amongst these emails are two new radio opportunities, together with a UK national publication who want to feature my story. I've been invited to give a talk on the 3rd December and I've just found out that the event has sold out.

I also giving a talk on the 11th December in London and I'm back on the radio too.  Will post more details soon, in the meantime I have some emails to respond to and a little unpacking to do.  One more thing I've started writing my second book which will hopefully go live next year.

Can you believe it's only one month until Christmas.  Driving back from the airport this morning we saw a man carrying a Christmas tree and it's not even December yet. Will write more later and I've missed you.  As I'm posting this I've just been asked to provide editorial for one of Britain's largest independent regional publications. I better get going but speak soon.

To find out more or to book a private consultation please visit indiakang.com

6 November 2014

November already!

I just realised it's November and I haven't posted anything this month, Things have been a little hectic dear readers, what with work, various projects, married life, family etc.

Your family doubles once you're married.  There are more people to see, more birthdays to remember.   Work for both of us is getting busier and we have a few personal projects which are also keeping us busy. I'm not complaining about any of them,  As I told a friend yesterday who also happens to be a Rules coach, every morning feels like Christmas.

Yes every marriage has it's challenges but I wholly advocate  married life  (sorry I mean a Rules marriage) over being single anytime.  I did 'single' very well and for many years. My husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary last month.  I can't believe we are already married one year.  I'll write more about this including some of the things I've learned in a later post.  Marriage; including other people's marriages fascinate me. Last weekend I was talking to my Sister in Law.  She celebrated 29 years of marriage, I asked her for some tips, she said

"Go with the flow."

I agree with her.

I'm also loving Laura Doyle author of 'The Surrendered Wife."  Her tweets are a regular reminder to stay feminine, take self care and respect your husband.  She also recommends running important things by a good girlfriend before discussing with your husband. It's an excellent technique and one I've been doing myself. Although you need a trusted friend who is also married and Rules minded or 'surrendered'.  As I am learning we are in the minority.

Don't bother taking marriage advice from man haters, singletons, bitter ex wives who have a sense of entitlement or anyone who thinks all men are morons. Take advice from other married women who care about their marriages and husbands.  Married Rules coaches including Ellen and Sherrie are of course excellent confidants and we will steer you onto the right path.

I have to cut this post short,  sorry  but I need to dash dear readers.  I have food cooking in the oven and I need to do a little running around before my husband comes home..

If you missed  my media appearances; last week I was on the BBC Asian network talking about The Rules and relationships. I got the usual mixed bag of tweets, some good, others not so good.  I was also featured as an inspirational women as part of  the Asian Women Mean Business network.  If you missed the interview read it here,  I think they picked me by mistake and no I don't plan on telling them. We'll keep it between us.

Later this month I'm back on the radio and next month I've been invited as a guest speaker again for the Asian Women Mean Business team.  The event is taking place in Birmingham.  Will post more details. For now have a great day/evening and we'll talk more soon.

To find out more or to book private coaching or a consultation please visit indiakang,com

31 October 2014

Why you should listen to your husband.

Happy Halloween dear readers, this post is for the married's.

I'm sharing a great post by Laura Doyle author of The Surrendered Wife. 

I read her book about a month ago.  Most of her advice didn't apply to me personally although I did take away two great tips as follows:

1) If your husband says something mean to simply say "ouch" and to walk away.  She says don't bother asking for an apology, simply say "ouch."  I keep forgetting to try her approach, normally I give my husband a prolonged look before looking away.  He usually responds with "why are you looking at me like that?"  Giving my husband  'the stare' doesn't work in my household.   Will test out the  "ouch" and will report back

2) Taking self care, Laura's big on self care and yes she's right. She says often when we react to our husbands, its because we've neglected our own self care.  She encourages wives to take three self care actions a day.  

Read what she says about listening here.  As a married woman I can tell you she's one hundred million per cent right.

To find out more or to book a private consultation please visit indiakang.com

28 October 2014

Live on the radio this Thursday

Happy Tuesday dear readers.

This Thursday once again I'm live via the BBC Asian Network on the Noreen Khan radio show.  This Thursday is part one in a series of three shows.  The producers want to trial a live Q&A format.

This week we're talking The Rules, how they apply to different cultures together with practical dating tips.

Tune in BBC Asian Network this Thursday. Click this link for how to listen.

To find out more or for a private consult please visit indiakang.com

23 October 2014

Light candles and get the dusters out!!!

Goddess Lakshmi heading to my place because it's clean!

Happy Diwali to everyone celebrating today!

Get cleaning, light candles, open your doors and  windows to allow prosperity into your home!

Why I hear you ask?

Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth, is the main event on Diwali. It is a popular belief that the Goddess Lakshmi likes cleanliness, and she will visit the cleanest house first. This is also the reason why the broom is worshipped on this day. I didn't know this by the way, we have two brooms in the shed, will go fish them out after I've posted this live. I also don't know how you worship a broom. I'll have to ask my Mother in Law.

Lamps are lit in the evening to welcome the goddess. They are believed to light up Her path.  Thankfully I cleaned our place this morning.  Now I need to find some candles, I'm pretty sure we have some somewhere. 

Really hope Lakshmi picks my place first! It's clean and as soon as it gets dark I'm going to cheat a little by turning on the patio lights.... well.. .....all's fair in prosperity and wealth.

Happy Diwali everyone!

To find out more please visit indiakang.com

17 October 2014

What to wear on a first date.

Hello Everyone

Lisa a Personal Stylist gives her tips on what to wear on a first date.  Here's what she says.

On your first date you want to look good and feel confident says Lisa at Stylebug Personal Fashion Stylists.

She suggests wearing an outfit that gives the impression that you haven’t tried too hard and spent hours getting ready, but you still look fantastic.  

You don’t want to overdress or wear anything to over revealing on this occasion, you can save that for a later date. Your date will make a first impression about you very quickly before you even open your mouth.

It is important that you feel comfortable in what you are wearing.  Wear colours that compliment your natural colouring to brighten your eyes and lift your face.

Put on your favourite perfume but don’t overdo it.  If you have an over powering personality wear a more subtle perfume.  When putting perfume on dab a little on your wrists, behind your ears, on your neck, and in your cleavage. Following that rule should help you avoid being overwhelming with your perfume, while still smelling nice.

It is important to make sure that you emphasize the good parts of your body. If you have long slim legs then skinny jeans with a lovely pair of ankle boots would be great. For those with shorter legs always wear same dark coloured shoe/boot with a heel to elongate your legs.

If you have a defined waist show it off by pulling in baggy tops with a belt. Big boobs look great with V neck tops...small boobs wear a higher neck line.

For more styling advice please visiwww.stylebug.co.uk

Items in the picture include - Top: Whistles  Jeans:7 All Mankind  Boots: Bertie  Bag: LineaI