19 December 2014

Holidays are coming!

Yes they are.

Despite not being as organised as I would like.  I'm super excited about the holidays. Our tree is hopefully going up later today.   I know it's a little late. My bad.  It was actually purchased  last Saturday.

This year we bought an artificial  tree, mainly due to sheer laziness. All those pine needles plus the care and maintenance.   Anyway The Rules for Marriage say to "take the easy road."  That's what I did. We purchased a tree but it requires some installation.  I opened the box the other day only to find it needs putting together.  It didn't look easy, honesty dear readers it really didn't.  OK maybe if  I'd spend some time I could have worked it out.  I also need to make a quick dash to the shops to buy some more lights. You can never have enough lights.

Why am I writing about the holidays?  I'm writing because they're nearly here. I think it's six  or maybe five sleeps, I'm sure you'll correct me.

You have to know men in love WANT to spend the holidays with you, they really do. If they're aboard they want you to come with them.

If he doesn't want to spend the holidays with you and worse if he doesn't buy you a romantic gift, this guy is not into you. It may be painful but better to ditch him now and start dating others.  Who knows this time next year your husband might be helping you with the Christmas tree.  You can laugh at this advice all you want. although I'm hoping you won't.  I hope you'll pay attention to his actions over Christmas and New Year.

Married's - it's a completely different story right?  We visited our families last weekend, it was a busy weekend, we ate lots and lots of food, talked a lot, exchanged gifts and came back Sunday exhausted. I'm not complaining it was just exhausting.  We have two more visits to make, which I think we're doing tomorrow afternoon and then we're free.

Well kinda, I still have to sort food and a few more presents. And of course the tree!

Hopefully we'll speak before the holidays. Remember singletons it's also shortly dead zone too.

To find out more or to book a consultation please visit indiakang.com

16 December 2014

Don't Quit

Hello everyone, I know we're fast approaching the New Year.  Whether you're single and searching, nurturing your marriage or growing your business, I hope the below helps. Worth printing out and pinning on your board. Keep going everyone.  You have to be in it to win it.

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.

- Author unknown

11 December 2014

What to buy HIM for Christmas

It's nearly Christmas, I keep getting asked what to buy  HIM for Christmas.

Here's the rough guide to gifting him this Christmas. When I say gifting I'm referring to material gifts.

If you're following The Rules and are 'dating,' you don't go overboard on material presents. Of course if you're single you're allowed to gift yourself as much as you like.

OK here it is:

  • Newly dating and not exclusive - no material gifts necessary, don't even worry about a card.  
  • Dating and exclusive - something small for example a T-shirt, a book, maybe some music and a card. Only sign the card 'love' if he does, otherwise no need
  • Married - you can gift whatever you want and write 'love' a zillion times over.  

Those of you who are married;  hopefully agree when I say men don't care about material gifts, they really don't.  My husband couldn't care less about material gifts. In fact this year he told me not to buy him anything.  Last year I bought him flying lessons.  He asked if I could swap the flying lessons for something we could do together. I did.  I swapped them for a spa for two instead.

Of course I'm going to buy him something. I was talking to a couple of married women yesterday.  One said her husband is a big biking enthusiast, she'll probably buy something for his bike and the other wasn't sure. We tossed around some gifting ideas together.   My husband's birthday and first wedding anniversary presents were all sourced via notonthehighstreet.com  which is a fab website. I'm going to check it later today.

Girls if you're dating don't stress over what gifts to buy. Save the stress for when you're married.  Also just to add don't feel bad if he buys you heaps and heaps of material gifts.  It's very normal.  That's what men in love do. They're always buying you things - lots of things.


They're in love with you and you are literally always on their minds.

You don't have to 'match' his gifting, all you have to do is graciously receive.  And I should also quickly write about the ugly - which is  to stop dating him if he doesn't buy you a romantic gift for Christmas.  I can tell you from my own experience and from the many many experiences of my clients - men in love are always buying you things and they want to spend the holidays with you.  Truth!!

To find out more to to book a private consultation please visit  indiakang.com

2 December 2014

A little networking and in the news

Networking event Thursday 11th Decmember

Happy December everyone.

The year's not over yet!  If you are single and searching keep going and never give up. Remember we have to treat dating like a full time job.  We don't stop until we've found a job, neither do we stop dating until we've found Mr Right or until he's found you. As you know we don't chase men but you do have to go to where the men are.

I'm not stopping either.

Tomorrow I'm giving a talk in Birmingham which the organisers tell me has sold out. Next week Thursday 11th December I've been invited by the team behind Asian Women Mean Business to give a talk in South Kensington, London.

The ticket price covers a three course meal, a glass of champagne, a soft drink together with some networking with other female entrepreneurs.   I'm talking about my business journey. The Rules for dating together with The Rules for Marriage.  Tomorrow's event has sold out. Although there are tickets left for the event in London next week. Click here for the details.

I'm also featured in this Saturday's issue of The Express and Star- Britain's largest regional independent newspaper and The Shropshire Star too. The editors are sending PDF's which I'll share with you here and via my social media.

Let's keep going everyone.

To find out more or to book a private consultation please visit indiakang.com

28 November 2014

Happy deadzone

Happy Friday and hope you're all enjoying the sales.

For anyone celebrating Thanksgiving the dead zone has already started and ends after the holidays. Everyone else the dead zone ends Sunday 6pm.

It's simple no date means you disappear!

To find out more please visit indiakang.com

26 November 2014

Make Him Feel Like He's The Most Important Person in Your Life

Cuba 2014 doing The Rules for Marriage and making my husband first priority!  

The above title is Rule #25 in The Rules for Marriage and this is what I've been doing.

My husband and I went away for a couple of weeks as part of our first wedding anniversary. We went to Cuba and we landed back in the UK this morning.  The holiday was decreed a "no work zone" which included no social media and no answering emails.

I was initially very nervous about this because I'm waiting to hear back on a couple of opportunities.  I only checked my messages and social media once during the whole trip - which took some negotiation dear readers!

Like Rule #25 states -  making our husbands first priority is good for you, for him and for your marriage. And as a married Rules coach I'm so proud to report that I followed my husbands lead; even though the thought of being offline for two weeks did  make me break out in cold sweats! (sorry lots of cold sweats and violet shakes and no I'm not exaggerating.)  Checking messages once doesn't count. I checked with my husband first. One evening we purchased some wifi access and shared the minutes. How's that for love and romance!

While I was away my blog (this blog) got entered into the UK dating blog awards 2014. I need to pull my finger out if I'm going to meet the voting deadline otherwise there's always next year. I also returned to 623 emails, I took a screen shot in case you don't believe me.

Amongst these emails are two new radio opportunities, together with a UK national publication who want to feature my story. I've been invited to give a talk on the 3rd December and I've just found out that the event has sold out.

I also giving a talk on the 11th December in London and I'm back on the radio too.  Will post more details soon, in the meantime I have some emails to respond to and a little unpacking to do.  One more thing I've started writing my second book which will hopefully go live next year.

Can you believe it's only one month until Christmas.  Driving back from the airport this morning we saw a man carrying a Christmas tree and it's not even December yet. Will write more later and I've missed you.  As I'm posting this I've just been asked to provide editorial for one of Britain's largest independent regional publications. I better get going but speak soon.

To find out more or to book a private consultation please visit indiakang.com

6 November 2014

November already!

I just realised it's November and I haven't posted anything this month, Things have been a little hectic dear readers, what with work, various projects, married life, family etc.

Your family doubles once you're married.  There are more people to see, more birthdays to remember.   Work for both of us is getting busier and we have a few personal projects which are also keeping us busy. I'm not complaining about any of them,  As I told a friend yesterday who also happens to be a Rules coach, every morning feels like Christmas.

Yes every marriage has it's challenges but I wholly advocate  married life  (sorry I mean a Rules marriage) over being single anytime.  I did 'single' very well and for many years. My husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary last month.  I can't believe we are already married one year.  I'll write more about this including some of the things I've learned in a later post.  Marriage; including other people's marriages fascinate me. Last weekend I was talking to my Sister in Law.  She celebrated 29 years of marriage, I asked her for some tips, she said

"Go with the flow."

I agree with her.

I'm also loving Laura Doyle author of 'The Surrendered Wife."  Her tweets are a regular reminder to stay feminine, take self care and respect your husband.  She also recommends running important things by a good girlfriend before discussing with your husband. It's an excellent technique and one I've been doing myself. Although you need a trusted friend who is also married and Rules minded or 'surrendered'.  As I am learning we are in the minority.

Don't bother taking marriage advice from man haters, singletons, bitter ex wives who have a sense of entitlement or anyone who thinks all men are morons. Take advice from other married women who care about their marriages and husbands.  Married Rules coaches including Ellen and Sherrie are of course excellent confidants and we will steer you onto the right path.

I have to cut this post short,  sorry  but I need to dash dear readers.  I have food cooking in the oven and I need to do a little running around before my husband comes home..

If you missed  my media appearances; last week I was on the BBC Asian network talking about The Rules and relationships. I got the usual mixed bag of tweets, some good, others not so good.  I was also featured as an inspirational women as part of  the Asian Women Mean Business network.  If you missed the interview read it here,  I think they picked me by mistake and no I don't plan on telling them. We'll keep it between us.

Later this month I'm back on the radio and next month I've been invited as a guest speaker again for the Asian Women Mean Business team.  The event is taking place in Birmingham.  Will post more details. For now have a great day/evening and we'll talk more soon.

To find out more or to book private coaching or a consultation please visit indiakang,com